Bhai Tika, Brothers’ Blessing ceremony

On November 3rd, it was the last day of Tihar, which is called Bhai Tika, the Brothers’ Blessing ceremony. Sushila and her brother, Bikas, allowed me to participate as their sister. There are a lot of stories about this holiday and I am still trying to understand it, but this is the idea I got so far. Forgive me if I got any of it wrong as I’m learning!

Yama is the god of death (and one of the two gods celebrated during Tihar, the other being Lakshmi). At some time, Yama wanted to visit his sister, Yamuna. They are both children of the Surya, the Sun God. He descended to Earth to see her. Yamuna was excited that her brother was coming to see her and prepared a beautiful welcome for him. She performed a special ritual to bless Yama, placing a tika on his forehead and offering him a feast of his favorite foods. During this ritual, she made a protective circle around him with oil, which was said to keep evil spirits away.

Yama was really moved by what Yamuna had done for him and so Yama declared that any brother who receives a ritual like this from his sister on this day would not be taken by him (the god of death) for a long time. As a result, Bhai Tika became a festival where sisters bless their brothers with long life and protection from harm and in return, brothers vow to protect their sisters and offer them gifts.

It seems like each family has their special ritual for this and in a marriage, the family will adopt the rituals from the husband’s line. In this ceremony, we prepared the sacred space with three mandalas. The first mandala was for the High Gods (Devas and Mahadevas who have powers over cosmic elements and human destinies). The second was for the Brother. The third was for the Lower Gods (like the regional gods and ancestral gods that offer protection and health).

Then, in the mandala, we added a variety of fruits that included pomelo and belti, or citron (Citrus medica), which is the ancestor of all citrus fruits. There were also many flowers, some sweets and mustard oil. We used some regular incense and also dhoop, a very pretty handmade Nepali incense and we lit this and offered the smoke. I learned not to blow on the incense, but only to wave it to get the fire to go out.

After this, Sushila applied the tika, in seven colors, to her brothers forehead, which symbolizes her blessing him with the seven elements in life: white for peace, red for fire, yellow for the earth/nourishment, green for growth, blue for water, purple for spirituality and black for protection. She put a garland of marigold flowers and then a very special, purple makhamali flower Bhai tika garland made of globe amaranth flowers. It is known that this flower takes a very long time to dry and so this is also a symbol of long life. We also put a raksha sutra sacred thread around his neck, which acts as a protective amulet.

Then, Sushila and I gave him some special foods like sel roti (a rice flour doughnut) and sweets. And after this, the brother gave some gifts to his sister.

I felt so moved and honored to be part of this ceremony with Sushila and Bikas, to share in a ritual so filled with love, protection, and tradition. Being welcomed into such a cherished family celebration is something I will hold close to my heart. As much as I miss my own family, this moment reminded me of how lucky I am to be embraced by loved ones here in Nepal.